My mom died on September 4, 2014. She died peacefully as possible, short of actually dying in her sleep. She had aorta anerysm that was operated on back in 2012 that enlarged and started leaking blood into her lungs. My mom had used the First Alert
System and taken to the hospital
. At the hospital informed me and my sister that it would take open heart surgery to fix it. My mom made her wishes known, she did not like the way the first operation went. I did not think she was strong enough to survive the operation. The recovery would have been long and she hated being out of her apartment. This was her comfort zone. We both agreed and decided to go into hospice care
Our family gathered and said their goodbyes. I never really started to cry till, we started saying prayers
. That made it very real to me and then that effective.
My was Luther Medical Center
and they were wonderful in treating us. The staff was kind and helpful, at one point even offer me a hospital meal. In these situations, I don't think about we own needs of food. I don't feel hungry until I go down and ingest a hamburger like a frog eating a fly. They had seen that we have been there all day. It helped with grieving and getting ready for the end. Though you are never as ready as you think you are. When it looked like my mom was going to go through the night. We decided to do this in shifts, my sister decided to stay overnight
. I would relieve in the morning.
The staff keep us up to date and reminding that my mom had DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) Order that we understood that the only intervention
that the staff would to be pain reduction. We knew that and the staff just wanted to be sure sometimes people don't understand that. After I left a janitor offered my sister blankets if she was cold. Again the staff was wonderful, I don't know if the staff is as empathic as Lutheran. By God I sure hope so.
My sister called when she passed, she went so quietly that my sister had realized it at first.
I was living with her due to a financial problems
, it was always nice to come home
to someone. It was also a blessing for her that I was living there, I am became her health aide worker. She even told once again before going into the hospital that she really appreciated everything that I did for her. I also loved coming home to my dinner being made. Even if it was Celeste Pizza for One in the Microwave.
My mom's motto was if life gave you lemons make lemoncello.
My mom had Retinitis pigmentosa
which limited her visibility greatly. She a book reader from the National Library Service and we could download books
and magazines. My mom wanted Romance Novels and I would download on a flash-drive up to twenty books, so I went through the A-List authors (Daneille Steel, Judith Krantz, and such), then all of Harlequin Romances. I was down to the cut rate romance novels and I decide to slip in some classics Weathering Heights
, A Tale of Two Cities, Little Women,
. My mother told me in no uncertain terms, 'DO NOT TRY AND EDUCATE ME."
She always tried to her do everything herself, even though I was not doing anything. By the time she would a sandwich, I could made the sandwich, brought it to her, she would eaten, and cleaned the plate. She never let her shortcomings hold her back. Even if she should. Apparently while my mom was going up in the Bronx had a party where they ran out of food. She always plans to have a menu
that would include 2 types of Quiches, Hungarian Galosh, Ziti, and Turkey Breast. The amount of food for her guest would not fit into her studio. It would require guests to have piggy back another guest to fit into here.
One of the things I will NOT miss is her lists. She was always making list. Conversations on Saturdays would go:
MOM: What is on the top of this list?
MOM: That is last weeks list, throw that it away.
ME: I have one with Maple Syrup...
MOM: That is for later. I am looking for has bay leaves at the top.
Another thing I will NOT miss is her commode, my mom would ask
about the amount of what was in there. All I cared about was there blood or something that did not belong. After that I could care less about amounts.
One of things she wanted was from Rich Man, Poor Man
miniseries was someone died and their ashes were scattered on the water, followed by throwing roses into the water. There was a mysterious red rose , we joked from a mysterious boyfriend she never told us. I went down to the pier and threw it in the water.
She always enjoyed having people, we had a little gathering on Labor Day where she had a great time. I will miss but remeber all of the good times and parties that she threw.
I ask her once was there anywhere she wanted to go before she died. She thought about and said, "Nah."
She had all of the world she wanted to see and she enjoyed all of her time on this Earth.